Change Your Damn Story

Look, we all have stories we tell ourselves. Some are useful, most aren’t. And let’s be honest: a lot of the stories we carry around are total crap. They’re excuses dressed up as truth. They’re the reason you stay small, keep quiet, and avoid the big stuff.

Here’s the deal: those stories aren’t real. They’re lies you’ve been whispering to yourself because you’re scared. Scared to fail. Scared to succeed. Scared of being seen. Whatever it is, fear has got its hooks in you, and your story is the leash keeping you in place.

The Lies We Tell Ourselves

You know the stories. They sound like:

  • “I’m not talented enough.”

  • “People like me don’t do things like that.”

  • “If I try, they’ll laugh at me.”

Bullshit. Every single one of those stories is a cop-out. You’re scared to take the risk, so you convince yourself it’s not possible. You let yourself off the hook. And here’s the kicker: the longer you repeat the lie, the more you believe it.

We’ve all seen this. Hell, we’ve all done this. You’ve got that friend who says they’re unlucky, or stuck, or that the system is rigged against them. Maybe you’ve been that friend. But here’s the thing: the system isn’t stopping you nearly as much as you are.

Fear of Living Big

You know what scares people more than failing? Living a big life. Because a big life demands something from you. It means taking risks, showing up, and saying, “Yeah, I’m here, and I’m doing this.”

A lot of people avoid that because it’s uncomfortable. Playing small feels safe. You can sit there, quietly complaining about your situation without having to do a damn thing to change it. But guess what? Small isn’t safe—it’s just stuck.

Change Your Story

If you want to create, grow, or live anything close to a meaningful life, you’ve got to change the story.

Here’s how:

  1. Notice the Story You’re Telling Yourself
    When you catch yourself thinking, “I’m not good enough” or “This will never work,” stop and ask: Is this really true? Often, it’s just a story you’ve repeated so many times it feels like fact.

  2. Rewrite It
    Instead of saying, “If I fail, I’ll look stupid,” try, “If I fail, at least I’ll learn something—and at least I’ll have tried.” If you’re not failing, you’re not even in the game.

  3. Hang with the Right People
    If you’re surrounded by people who love their small, scared stories, you’ll never change yours. Find people who are doing the work, taking risks, and living big. Borrow their courage until you’ve got your own.

  4. Break It Into Small Steps
    Living a big life doesn’t happen all at once. Start small: share one piece of work, take one risk, or say yes to one new opportunity. Each step builds confidence.

  5. Do the Damn Thing
    Take a step. Any step. Share the sketch, pitch the idea, make the call. Nobody’s asking you to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Just start.


The Truth About Fear

Here’s the thing: fear isn’t going anywhere. It’s part of the process. The question is, are you going to let it stop you? Or are you going to tell a better story?

Fear isn’t the villain—it’s just the signal that something important is on the line. The real problem is the story you’ve built around that fear. You can choose to let it control you, or you can rewrite it and get to work.

Final Word

Stop playing small. Stop telling yourself the same tired lies. You’re not stuck—you’re scared. You don’t lack talent—you lack belief.

The stories you tell yourself define the life you live. So tell a better story. Write one where you’re the damn hero, where you take risks, make mistakes, and figure it out along the way. Because that’s where the magic happens.

Now go. Do something that scares you. And change your story.

Abdi Jama